Tangled Shadows Page 6

  “That’s just supernova for you, but I don’t want my one-night fuck partners to read me like a data port, thank you very much.”

  For some reason the men looked insulted. Why would she trust them if the first thing they’d done was lie to her? And give you explosive orgasms, the little voice at the back of her mind said, the one Brooke kept pushing aside.

  “You don’t even know if that would be the case,” Nikolai said.

  Yeah right, Mr. Persuasive.

  “What is the alternative?” Galen asked.

  Brooke looked at him and wanted to punch him. Honestly, she wanted to walk over there and bash him over the head.

  And then kiss him breathless.

  He had to be all logical.

  She strode away.

  What was the alternative? She could stay stubborn and not let either of them close enough to connect with her brain, and have three days missing from her memory forever. With the possibility a Feral had tampered with her mind.

  Talk about a happy thought.

  Or she could trust two men who had lied to her with her innermost thoughts.

  They’d know she still desired them, how she yearned to be part of their love. They’d see her loneliness and her hunger to belong. Unless this shield worked, they’d see everything. And if they used the knowledge as a weapon against her, they could destroy her, rip her to shreds.

  “Brooke, he’ll try not to look where he isn’t wanted,” Galen said softly. “Anything you want to keep secret, imagine a sky-high impenetrable wall in front of it. Nikolai will honor those boundaries.”

  Brooke kept her back turned to them, hands in fists at her side. “Of course, you’ve been the poster boys for honesty and trustworthiness. I have no trouble believing you.” Silence fell between them.

  “You can’t want to live with a Feral in your head for the rest of your life,” Nikolai said.

  40

  Brooked flinched. His blatant statement hit her like a punch in the gut. She exhaled and straightened her shoulders. They just weren’t getting it. “You are expecting me to trust two men who’ve done nothing but lie to me from the moment we met.” Galen sighed. Nikolai rubbed his face.

  “Is there anything we can do to prove our trustworthiness?” Galen asked.

  Brooke swallowed the lump in her throat when she saw the need in his eyes. She wanted to trust him, them, but the risk…the risk of being betrayed again was more than she could bear. “That’s the problem with trust,” she whispered. “It has to be earned.” Galen closed his eyes and his shoulders dropped. Nikolai took his hand. “We’re at an impasse, Brooke. We need your memories to find out what happened and who was involved, but without your consent, we cannot remove the Feral barrier. With every hour we wait, more humans could be suffering or dying.”

  “You decide,” Galen added.

  Brooke stared out of the main viewport in an attempt to close out their presence, their energy, their impact on her.

  It didn’t work. She still saw them before her eyes.

  But they were right.

  As much as she hated Nikolai for bringing it up, people were dying right now, sucked dry by brutal Ferals, who more often than not played with their food before they tore it apart. When she took on the responsibility of being the captain of the Nebokka, she took responsibility for her crew and any humans she may transport.

  She couldn’t turn her back on her duty because she feared these two men would rip her heart to shreds if they discovered her need.

  “I am sorry for what we have done. Milaya, I will not betray your trust. I give you my word I will only look for the damage the Ferals left behind,” Nikolai said.

  His words sank inside her. Since the horrific morning when she found out the truth, they had done their best to show her their regret. She needed those three days back. The Feral taint had to be removed.

  And this would be the only way to prove her innocence.

  She whirled around. “I am not lying down for this. And if you overstep the boundaries by just one inch, this operation is over. Understood?” Galen exhaled silently. Thank Jade, she would give them another chance. Nikolai put his hands in the air as if to fend off an attack. “Whatever you say, milaya.” Brooke glared at him.

  Galen jumped in before either of them could set off another argument. “Let’s move to the lounge next to the galley. The chairs are more comfortable.” 41

  She looked at him with her eyebrows raised, and hesitated for a moment. Galen was about to say something when she moved toward the bridge exit, her body screeching with tension.

  We’d have more space in the main cabin, Nikolai said inside his mind.

  She’d never trust us in there. Galen followed Brooke. And she needs to relax for you to work, doesn’t she?

  Nikolai came behind him. Yeah.

  Galen wasn’t sure what gnawed at his partner, but he didn’t have time to hold Nikolai’s hand as well as Brooke’s.

  Brooke waited in the lounge, her arms still crossed over her chest. Every time he saw her hold herself so defensively, it stabbed Galen in the heart. He wanted her confident and full of energy, like during their first night.

  The lounge was a small cabin with two reclining chairs before a massive screen.

  They used it to watch vids or play games in virtual reality. Their journeys could be long and any distraction was welcome. He directed Brooke to one chair, after instructing it to expand its width so Nikolai could sit on the edge without scaring her.

  Galen then instructed the malleable wall to form a seat in the corner. He wanted to be closer, but both of them hovering over her would make things worse.

  “Sit down, milaya. Close your eyes and see if you can relax,” Nikolai said. “Have you ever meditated before?”

  Brooke sank down and shook her head.

  “No problem. I’m going to sit on the edge here.”

  Even from where he sat, Galen could see her stiffening. Nikolai sat down and gently took her hand. Brooke’s eyes shot open.

  “It’s okay, Brooke, I need physical contact to build the connection. I’m only going to touch your hand, nothing else, I promise.”

  Brooke locked gazes with him for a moment and nodded. She closed her eyes and her body slowly unwound.

  “Great,” Nikolai said. “Now I want you to relax each individual muscle, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Just let go. Don’t think about anything in particular, let your mind wander.” Nikolai continued with his hypnotic talk until Brooke’s body had relaxed and her breathing had evened out.

  Nikolai leaned closer and Galen felt his partner’s aural energy becoming more and more focused until it resembled a spotlight. He carefully tried to penetrate into Brooke’s energy and stream inside her mind.

  Galen expected to be pulled along on Nikolai’s journey of discovery, to stumble through Brooke’s mind and memories.

  But nothing happened.

  42

  Nikolai’s eyes flew open and he looked at Galen. His lover could not establish a connection to Brooke.

  To quote from the olden days, they were royally screwed.

  Nikolai had no idea what had gone wrong. He’d followed his usual pattern of weaving his power into his subject’s energy, expecting Brooke’s mind to open up to his pressure. But abso-fucking-lutely nothing happened. It felt as if his energy bounced off a bubble, a bubble that blocked Brooke’s mind from any outside influence.

  He couldn’t retrieve what had happened in those missing days.

  “What’s going on?” Brooke’s husky voice pulled him back to the now.

  Without thinking, Nikolai kissed her palm. “I’m unable to link with you. Your mind is covered by an impenetrable field.”

  Brooke raised the chair into a more upright position, but didn’t pull her hand away.

  “What does this mean? Did the Ferals do it to me?” Her fingers trembled. Nikolai was quick to reassure her. “No, m
ilaya, no, this feels nothing like a Feral. If I didn’t know humans can’t build shields like this, I’d say you made it yourself.”

  “You know there are reasons why she could have developed such a shield,” Galen said, his voice subdued.

  Brooke’s gaze flew to him. “Why?”

  Galen sighed. “Humans who have suffered trauma at a young age tend to block far more heavily than other kids.” He smiled for a second, but it never reached his eyes.

  “Or a Naema entered your family tree some generations ago.” Brooke looked at them as if they’d declared they’d give up sex and retire on Monktoon. “Naemas don’t fuck outside their race, and they definitely don’t impregnate humans.”

  Nikolai snorted. “What am I, chopped liver?”

  Brooke frowned at him. “But you’re the exception. Are you telling me your families were particularly happy with your relationship?”

  Galen extended his seat closer to her chair. “No, our families aren’t happy, but this is a relatively new development. Over the last few decades, my people have pulled back more and more from other species. They’ve begun to think of themselves as better, purer than everybody else.”

  “Yeah, thanks to your esteemed leader,” Nikolai said through clenched teeth. He loathed Arch-Senator Gabriel.

  Galen waved off his grumblings. It was a discussion they’d had before, and most likely would have again.

  43

  “Before this turn in thinking, Naemas lived in harmony with other peoples. Matings occurred rarely outside the species, but it did happen.” Galen nodded at Brooke. “And it is possible one of your ancestors comes from such a union.” Brooke appeared to process the information, but didn’t reply.

  Nikolai jiggled his right knee. By Jade, why couldn’t she get past their beginnings?

  Through their mindlink, Nikolai knew Galen didn’t think Brooke had Naema ancestors.

  Her shield was too different.

  Which left a traumatic event. They needed to know what she’d been through. It was the only way he could find a weakness in her shield.

  Nikolai’s knee froze for a second, before it picked up its pace again. Could it have to do with her connection to us? he asked Galen.

  His partner paused. We had no problems talking mind-to-mind after our first night together.

  Yeah, but neither of us is human. Do you know of any human bound to a Vampire and a Naema? Maybe it’s for her protection.

  We can’t tell her yet, Galen barked. We’ll talk about it later.

  He put his hand on Nikolai’s wiggling knee and the hand resting on it. Then he leaned toward Brooke, touching her shoulder. “Whatever this is, we will sort it out.” As soon as Nikolai clasped his lover’s fingers, electric shocks sparked, shooting through all three of them and their minds connected.

  Nikolai felt the familiar warmth of Galen’s mind, but also Brooke’s shock and fear when she realized they had linked. For a second he thought he saw a deep-seated need to belong, but the link broke too quickly to be certain.

  Brooke tried to pull back, but Nikolai held on to her hand and Galen moved with her, keeping contact to her shoulder. “Hang on, Brooke, don’t move,” Galen said. “We might be on to something here.”

  Brooke stilled, her body rigid. “What happened?”

  Nikolai studied the closed circle they’d made by accident. He’d only realized the nagging ache and need to be close to Brooke had disappeared after touching her. He looked at Galen, who nodded in agreement. They were both hot as hell, but the pain was gone.

  “What’s going on?” Brooke asked again, her voice growing louder.

  Nikolai saw her nipples harden. His sensitive nose picked up her thickening scent.

  Galen cleared his throat, but his voice was husky when he spoke. “Our minds linked.”

  “How?” Brooke attempted to let go, but they wouldn’t allow it.

  “After our night together, we’ve established a link. By touching as we’re doing now, all three of us, the connection is activated.”

  “You were in my head.”

  44

  “For a second your shields dropped and allowed us in,” Galen said.

  “Let’s try something. We all let go and then touch again. By re-establishing the link I may be able to identify the barrier,” Nikolai said.

  Galen nodded and they released each other. After a brief moment, Nikolai clasped Galen’s hand and offered his free one to Brooke.

  She hesitated. “The same rules still apply. No going anywhere you aren’t welcome.”

  Nikolai nodded his agreement, continuing to hold out his hand. This time around it had to be her choice all the way.

  Brooke swallowed. She took his hand and the one Galen offered. Sparks flew again.

  Nikolai groaned as a shock shot through his hard cock.

  They waited, but no mindlink.

  Brooke released their hands and hugged her arms around her knees. “It didn’t work.” She felt torn. For a moment she thought there would be a way out, a way to undo the taint the Ferals left behind, but now it appeared only a fluke.

  She tugged her knees tighter against her chest, her heart racing. Every way she looked she only saw closed doors with no way out, no way to prove her innocence, to regain her memories.

  “Brooke.” Nikolai cupped her nape. “Breathe, milaya, breathe. We’ll figure something out. Breathe.”

  The heat of his hand and his voice sank inside her, unclenching her frozen lungs.

  She took a couple of deep, slow breaths. She’d never had a panic attack before, but right now she deserved one. “How are you going to figure out anything? I have impenetrable shields and neither of you has any clue on how to re-establish the link.” Nikolai stroked his thumb up and down her racing pulse. Before she could stop herself she leaned into the caress. As much as she hated to admit it, his touch helped to fight down the panic.

  “Brooke, there is another way for us to reconnect,” Galen said quietly.

  She looked at him and knew right off she wouldn’t like whatever he had to say.

  “We know touch led to the first mindlink. I believe sex will help you to relax your shields enough to allow us to enter your mind.”

  Brooke gaped at him. “Well, let’s get right on it. I’ll just spread my legs and you can go ahead.”

  Galen flinched and Nikolai’s grip on her nape tightened.

  Brooke couldn’t stand it, pushed his hand off her and scrambled to her feet to pace the confines of the cabin. She saw a certain logic to Galen’s belief. The idea scared her to death, because part of her wanted to jump up and down with excitement at the opportunity to spend time with them, to experience their lovemaking again.

  45

  But if she gave in to this part of her, she risked being hurt. Or it may open a door you had already thought shut in your face, the little voice said. She leaned her forehead against a porthole. Jade, could she let them close again?

  Could she not? There was more at risk than only her heart. People depended on her.

  “Brooke, the choice is yours, but I promise it is not just a cheap way to get you in bed. Nikolai and I can’t imagine anything as exciting and fulfilling as making passionate love to you. We want you. It is not just a means to an end.” Brooke turned and studied them.

  She couldn’t see another way to clear the Feral taint out of her head and get her memories back. They gave her the most amazing night of her life. They touched something deep inside her, opened up a fragile part of herself in search of belonging and love, a part she hadn’t been aware of.

  And then they broke it. Crushed it with their lies and carelessness, left her feeling as empty as the space the Mercy traveled through.

  The risk was huge. They could break her again. But it was the only way to clear her mind and release her memories, the only way to find and save potential survivors.

  And the only way to fulfill this insane demand inside her to spen
d as much time as possible with these two men.

  Yes, they had lied to her. Yes, they were Paranormals. But there was more. Walking away now would bury any chance for the more to develop.

  She walked over to them and offered each a hand. Her decision grew solid when they didn’t hesitate for a moment and clasped her fingers, but at the same time waited for her next step.

  This was her decision and she wanted it.

  Whatever consequences she would have to deal with later, she would cope.

  46

  Chapter Five

  Nikolai lifted her hand to his lips and suckled on one of her fingers. Brooke felt as if she’d been caught on the edge of a black hole. Each gentle suck lit a fire in her lower body. Galen nipped at a finger of her other hand and soothed the ache with his tongue, sending little shocks through her.

  The nagging ache in her chest she’d felt all day, the need to touch both men, faded.

  She wanted to repeat the pleasure of the first night, wanted to drown in passion.

  Nikolai bit her thumb, the pain shooting through her frame like an electric pulse.

  She couldn’t help but moan. The reclining chairs didn’t look up to the task, so Brooke led them to her cabin, to her bed.

  It would be difficult, but she could keep her emotions separate from her body. She could protect her heart.

  She would deal with the consequences once they arrived. Now she needed. She was in control. “Fuck me,” she demanded hoarsely.

  Both men stopped in their tracks. Then Galen pulled her head around and plunged them into a kiss that made her deaf, dumb and blind to everything around her. Their tongues dueled, for what she did not know, his taste raising every nerve ending she had.

  Nikolai worked his way up her arm, kissing and nipping the responsive flesh on the inside of her elbow. As heavenly as that felt, Brooke wanted him somewhere else.

  She tore her lips from Galen’s, who immediately moved to her sensitive neck.